Row Z edition 29;  dateline 6 March 2009 
  All aboard the good ship sport
  It seems Sport  England is to have another new navigator at the helm. Sports minister Andy  Burnham has handed the baton, or possibly the poisoned chalice, to one Richard  Lewis who will chair the influential agency from 1 April. To sum up our  enthusiasm for this ground-breaking appointment we repeat the quotation we  shared with readers in February but which has curiously disappeared from 
www.sportengland.org . Citing Chair  Lewis’ precedents, the bubbly release told us all that he had "played a  transformational role at the Rugby Football League bringing unity, financial  stability and a higher profile to the sport, while at the same time delivering  a significant growth in participation." Sounds like a top chap. He was at  the LTA as well for a while. Excellent. And the CCPR.
  
  
  Duck that
  The work  experience lad has been trying to make his mark and is advocating that Row Z  adopts the Great British Duck Race as its official charity for 2009. The event  involves setting up to 175,000 plastic ducks loose on the River Thames on 6th  September. Adopting a duck only costs £2 and you have a chance to win money  every month. Sideliner has spoken: it’s in. Support the Great British Duck Race  at 
www.thegreatbritishduckrace.co.uk 
  Double  treble? Mine’s a half
    What odds do you think you can now get  against Old Trafford’s finest (sic) “doing the sextuple”? They are already celebrating  winning the World Club Championship – having beaten one other team – and the  Milk Cup; whoop-de-doo! The rumour is that Fergie has entered a team in the  Crumpsall & District Sunday League Intermediate Cup* – current holders  Pendlebury Old Scouts** – and has found a suitably sycophantic hack to acclaim  him god’s gift to kickball when he emerges victorious. Perhaps he should simply  follow the lead of the Scottish Women’s head coach, a Swedish lady called Anna  Signeul, who invented her own competition: “In the first two years I was  Scotland coach I tried to get us into the Algarve Cup [which annually features  five of the world’s top seven nations] but I realised it would never happen so  decided to start a tournament myself.” She should take up darts. 
  * We made this up
      ** And this
  In praise of PRs
  Say what you  like about public relations firms, they are becoming more and more evident in  run-of-the-mill sport and leisure contexts. Everybody knows that a senior  figure in one of the big four governing bodies of sport with an imminent Polish  appointment is said to have someone to advise him what to wear on a daily basis  but now even the likes of Sporta and Leisure Industry Week have people to boost  their profile. Speak it softly but we have even heard that there is a small  schools sports partnership in the Midlands with its own spin doctor. At Row Z  we love PR people because they are unremittingly pleasant on the telephone and  supply us with regular insights into the minutiae of other people’s lives – did  you know, for example, that the 
Fitness Industry Association holds an annual 
golf day?  But surely any industry that uses  words like ‘ground-breaking’ and ‘inspirational’ and ‘delightful’ quite so  often needs regulation.
   
  
Amateurs boxing
  Congratulations  to Cumbrian amateur rugby league outfit Wath Brow Hornets who, having beaten  London Skolars in the last round, join the fourteen Super (sic) League clubs in  the next round of the Challenge Cup,. Less wholesome applause goes to fellow  amateurs Queens of Leeds who survive in the competition only because their  third-round tie was abandoned with nineteen minutes to go due to “crowd  trouble” at Doncaster’s Keepmoat Stadium. The tie had been switched to  encourage a larger attendance but with only 595 spectators in a venue that  hopes to host a Four Nations International in the near future Sideliner has to  ask whether agoraphobia was a contributory factor for the visiting contingent.
   
  
Drawing a veil
  This month we  are avoiding any mention of: Martin Johnson’s performance as England rugby  manager; our Davis Cup team; the need for event promoters to set up an  ‘official website’ for ticket touts in the face of government inaction; Ashley  Cole blaming photographers for his abuse of policemen; Formula 1; the  chancellor’s plans to close even more pubs by levying duty equivalent to 33% of  the price of very pint you drink; Dwain Chambers’ book (although he does share  Sideliner’s views on Ms Ohurougu); Mark Cavendish; the hyphen in new Wales  captain Alan-Wyn-Jones’ name.